As we all know, many phrases we say mean the complete opposite of what they sound like.

A lot of the following translations are true. Some are sometimes true. And a few are just random, so don’t take this too seriously. We’re all having fun here. 😊

“I’m fine”

Translation: I’m having the worst day ever, but what do you care?

“You’re going to *insert tropical island here*? That’s wonderful!” 

Translation: Why didn’t you invite me?

“You’re little brother had an accident in bed again? Oh no!” 

Translation: Why do I need to know this?

“I did okay on my exam.” 

Translation: I think I failed.

“I’ll be there in a second!”

Translation: I’ll be there in a few minutes. (How is it even possible to get anywhere in a second?)

“I’ll be ready in five minutes!”

Translation: I’ll be ready in an hour.

“You don’t look tired at all!”

Translation: You look awful. You better get some sleep.

“I’ll go to the gym tomorrow.”

Translation: I’m never going to the gym.

“This is my last potato chip—I swear.” 

Translation: I’m finishing the whole bag.

“I’m trying to eat healthier.”

Translation: I’m going to eat salad today and then go back to my chocolate tomorrow.

“I only want a small piece.” 

Translation: Give me the biggest piece you have.

“No, no, you don’t have to get me anything!” 

Translation: Get me something good.


But, sometimes you have to say some things to your friends and family so they don’t make terrible mistakes:

“I just bought this sweater! Doesn’t it look amazing?”

“No. Return it.” 

Translation: This is for your own good.


“Let’s go to the bar!”

“No. We’re staying in because I’ve got work to do and you’re helping.” 

Translation: Don’t you remember what happened last time?


“I’ve got a bunch chocolates from Valentine’s Day!”

“Let’s split it.”

Translation: What? We’ve got to indulge once in a while.

Tell me if you have ever said any of these or been on the receiving end of these conversations! 🙂